I've been riding/racing motorcycles for almost 55 years, been married to the same woman for 31 years and two weeks. Don't plan on marrying any other woman and won't give up riding until the very last breath.
Motorcycle riders are like a butterflies, most live out a nice easy life but unfortunately a few get lost in the breeze.
Walk or take a deep breath and live with it.
I had a serious accident in 1971. I was in college at the time. My parents got me to promise to give up biking, which I did, for about 5 years. Then I had to have a little moped, and that led to a bigger bike, and I've been riding ever since. AND in all those years I haven't had another serious accident. The accident taught me to be 'paranoid' of people on cars (it was caused by a woman turning left across my path.) So I never assume drivers see me, and I don't anticipate what they will do. I always -expect- them to cross my path. I assume I'm invisible. This has kept me safe all these years (knock wood).
My parents were pretty much okay with my return to riding. (Frankly I never got on well with them anyway. so we didn't see a lot of each other.) Years later I heard my mom was upset about it at first but Dad told her 'A man's gonna do what a man's gonna do'. Which I think was wise of him.
Like Michael says, you can't just insist your fiancee give up riding. Women, bless them, always think they can change us guys, but it doesn't really work that way. You have to accept a guy as he is.
(Years ago Benny Hill made a good joke about it. When a couple get married, they walk up an AISLE to the ALTER and sing a HYMN. And all through that time the bride is thinking 'AISLE ALTER HYMN'. But it doesn't work like that. 8^) ).
I'm a rider.... All of the comments about having to deal with it or leave are VERY true. If a rider has a serious accident with injuries on a bike and gets right back on. They will more than likely ride until the day they die.
In fact before I started dating my wife I told her that if she ever made me choose between her and the bike I would leave her in a heartbeat! Even if we have children. We now have 1 child, and the rule still stands and she knows it.
There is a freedom in riding that is unnatainable anywhere else.
If you truly love him and want to stay with him do what Anthony suggested. Get him race quality leathers. They are expensive. It will run you about $1000.00 to get a suit. BUT, it offers the utmost BEST protection.
Also if he has not already, make him replace his helmet if he was wearing one during the crash.
After a crash a helmet is no good. There are usually fractures in the protective foam underneath the plastic, even if there is no apparent damage on the outside.
I wish you guys luck, and heck go for a ride sometime with him. I garuntee you he will LOVE IT!
To a man.... if you request to have him take you for a ride it is like him buying you a diamond ring!
You won't be able to make him quit.
If he does, it will most likely cause resentment later.
I'm afraid it's something you will have to learn to live with.
I consider myself one of the lucky ones.
I met a woman who wouldn't go out with a guy who rides (I had two running ones).
We have now been married for 14 years. My accident 12 years ago cost us quite a bit.
She had no squawk - it was the cager's fault. I healed.
I eventually promised to stop riding in the snow.......and we understand that a clear plowed road isn't riding in the snow.
Good luck to both of you.
If you can't stop him from riding, and you don't want to leave. I would suggest this: armor him up.
Sounds silly, but compromise. Make him wear body armor, not just a leather jacket. A bluetooth helmet so he wont use his phone. Ect, ect,ect. Pad him up so that when he does fall again, you won't lose him. Big, heavy duty gloves and the such. There is only two kinds of riders, those who have fallen and given up, and those who will fall. If you can't stop him, protect him.
I understand your worry about your financial situation. Marriage is often to the woman's advantage. Google [your state] marital property and read up on that. Also, read his life insurance policy and see if you are the named beneficiary, and whether there is an exclusion for ultra hazardous activities, like motorcycling, because sometimes there is. Knowledge is power.
He gave you his answer, he is going to keep riding. You have two options; accept it or bail. That's it. There's a word for someone who keeps a classic car in a garage and never drives it, that is called an @sshole.
Find a way to get over the feelings of dread of him riding motorcycles, or find a way to get over not having him for a fiance.
I don't know? I would rather die doing what I enjoy than live a long life shivering on the porch.
Well, sure, bikes are dangerous. But plently of people die on cars too. Death is inevitable, my fine lady.
I WOULD CHOOSE A SHORT BUT HAPPY LIFE OVER A LONG BUT BOOOORING ONE.
You can just leave him and start dating a guy who drives a station wagon w/ dozen or so air bags... You sounds like a wuss to me. So better find a wuss likewise... Btw, you're making it sound like we motorcyclists are DARE DEVILS!!! We are not... Not even close.
